How to Attract the Attention of the FBI

Copyright Ken Brady. No reproduction without express permission from the author.
(Originally published in DAILY CABAL, 2008)

Subject: Impending Doom
From: johnnyq@gakmail.com
Reply-to: johnnyq@gakmail.com
Date: Tuesday, October 8, 2008 – 08:00:00

To: johnnyq@gakmail.com

The email response you will send today at 09:13:02 will never make it to me. You won’t know that because you’ll be in jail soon after you send it, so I’m telling you now.

The bomb threats you’ll phone in in five minutes to the Wells Fargo Tower and City Hall will be taken seriously. I know you don’t actually want to do it — at least not yet — but the police don’t know that. In about fifteen minutes everyone will find out the threats are more than threats. Don’t worry, not everyone in the buildings will be killed this time.

In prison you’ll experience unspeakable atrocities. You’ll seethe with rage at the unfairness of the situation, and you’ll hate the world even more. You’ll hate yourself. You’ll want to lash out, punish someone, anyone, any way. But after three years behind bars, you’ll come to terms with it. Discover that you were right all along. Realize that the only problem was that you didn’t destroy enough.

I know you don’t want to do this, but in a way, deep down inside, you do. Many people do. I’m still here typing this and the article I’ve attached hasn’t changed, so you must have gone through with it.

You’re wondering what I want from you. It’s easy: I need you to place the calls, take the blame, do the first three years. Tell them whatever you want to tell them. They won’t believe you anyway.

Just three. Easy. Years. Then I’ll take over. You’ll be ready then, and we can be a team.

Then we’ll burn it all to the ground.

Cheers,
jq

Forwarded Attachment:
>
> News Release: Reuters
> Date: Wednesday, October 9, 2009
>
> Title: Man says future self told him to destroy skyscrapers
>
> Abstract: Accused terrorist Jonathan Quill, 28, says that a future version of him sent a message back in time, telling him to
> blow up the Wells Fargo Tower and City Hall. He claims that he is not responsible for the actions of his future self, and that
> he did not, in fact, place explosives in the buildings in question. Mr. Quill is currently under arrest pending psychiatric evaluation.
>
> Click here to read more…
>